relationship phases
“The trouble is not that I am single and likely to stay single, but that I am lonely and likely to stay lonely.”
Charlotte Brontë
First Contact
During this phase of a relationship a couple would be relying on experience from their previous relationship/s. Although not transference many people can bond very quickly simply because of the resemblance of a trusting figure in their life past or present. If two people begin to like each other, continued contact may lead to the next stage.
During this stage of the relationship an explosion of chemicals takes place in the body which doesn’t allow much room for rational thinking. It is known as the Lust phase of a relationship. (keep in mind the four relationship approaches)
Is Love Quid Pro Quo (a trade-off)
What most people call love is not essentially love it is more of an exchange.
Progression
During this stage, a couple begin to trust and care about one another. The need for intimacy, compatibility, common background and goals will influence whether or not the relationship will continue.
A couple can talk for hours on the phone and get butterflies when thinking of one another. Numerous hormones are at play here. Brain waves play an enormous role at this stage of the relationship which can cause lack of sleep, butterflies and nervousness to name a few things.
Quid Pro Quo
It is not far from the truth to say that relationships are based on some form of quid pro quo and perhaps it is the give and take which makes these relationships so very different from parental love.
Investment
A person will invest their time and emotions only if a return of some kind is fulfilled which can vary from financial security to caring for the children, love may come, stay and go, every person will handle these situations in their unique way.
‘Never Let a Kiss Fool You and Never Let a Fool Kiss You’
Commitment
For those who want to take the relationship further comes the commitment phase where the couples inner needs must be met rather than intimacy alone.
Over the years we have been contacted by people who look for advice about their relationship which is hidden from family due to religious cultural and marital reasons.
If one partner is ignoring or side lining that their partner needs recognition as a couple there will no doubt be problems in the relationship which causes many a heartache and lack of self esteem.
Everyone has a need to associate with those who share similar thoughts and beliefs, thus reinforcing their own ideas. Generally, humans will try and find relationships where they can put in the least amount of effort for the greatest amount of reward.
There is a belief that people who are similar minded to us will like us, which makes it easier to start a conversation and in turn a relationship. (Birds of a feather flock together) People who are similar will endorse our own characteristics and beliefs. We want to believe that our opinions or lifestyles are right. This is seen in many cultures where couples marry based on similar religious cultural and family beliefs.
As you grow older attitudes toward life and relationships may well change
There are endless amounts of people around the world who sacrifice their inner happiness in order to receive the love and care they crave, feeding the emptiness and void felt in their life.
This is probably the worst stage of any relationship as a person has given into their emotional weakness and is now at the mercy of the other partner. This kind of relationship is literally sitting on quicksand.
Even worse, many people do not have a clue they have submitted to this kind of addiction, with love and lust hormones rushing around the body, communication feels at its best and in no time at all this addiction has hijacked the real person.
Zodiac Compatibility
Can help you avoid this kind of behaviour whilst keeping you connected to your heart and mind in order to achieve relationship success.
Having spent a combined 5 decades in providing relationship advice 85% of clients seeking advice almost always ask if there is a difference in the way men and women relate to their zodiac signs.
Carl Jung
‘Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves’.
The manner which men and women tend to express their astrological qualities is heavily influenced by their own social interactions from childhood. It is crazy to assume that an Aries male and Aries female would deal with relationships differently.
The only thing that would differ between the two is the method they will employ in order to achieve the exact same effect as one another. At times there is very little difference between the two genders.
Some time has passed in the relationship where the couple have built up mostly small seemingly harmless lies
They're not blatant lies, but mostly unspoken thoughts and feelings. The intentions behind the lies may have been to protect yourself and your partner from pain, but now, your problems seem overwhelming and you can't talk openly and honestly about them because you've already established a certain pattern of communication.
Ideally you want to be part of a relationship where you can be yourself without the fear of
self- disclosure
Unfortunately, it is at this stage of a relationship that many people find it considerably easier to just start fresh with a new partner and when you read Sun Signs it will be pretty clear which signs are more open to this kind of behaviour.
However, finding a person to love is only the beginning; once you have found your soul mate you need to work together to create the life you want.
Here is where it can get worse!
You know enough about yourself and don’t need a book or people to tell you what you already know about yourself, does that guarantee you know your potential partner just as well?
Fools Rush in Where Angels Fear to Tread
Complications Will Arise
Given that the first stage of a relationship is the Lust phase, rational thinking doesn’t come into the equation at this point. All the differences between a couple may come across as appealing. The attachment phase is a while away yet where different hormones will come into play, the hormones which ask a person to think logically and analyse their situation for the long term. The flaws only become apparent after the initial enthusiasm has cooled, allowing previously suppressed brain areas to awaken to the reality of who a person finds themselves with the morning after.
The differences between a couple come shining through here and the time arrives to either call it a day or move to the next stage of the relationship route.
It is here that a couple either accept that there is no such thing as permanent happiness and relationships have ups and downs, or just call it a day. If children have arrived during this phase of the relationship a couple may just learn to accept the relationship as a need/trade off over and above the need for their own love and understanding.
The relationship can become more of a compromise.
this is when we hear the most common sentence, ‘I must have been out of my mind’!
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